Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
