Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize