wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
