i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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