glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
