Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
