I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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