After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
