i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize