He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
