Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
