Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
