does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
