I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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