Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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