He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
