Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize