also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
