Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
