We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
