TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
