Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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