whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
