Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
