So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
