And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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