i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
