Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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