I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
