can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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