if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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