Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
