OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
