I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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