I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize