Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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