Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
