the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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