yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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