my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
