I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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