her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I am mentally ready for anal.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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