I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
