and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
