we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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