I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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