Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You are a genius and a whore.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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