Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
