she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
