Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
