Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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