i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
