Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
