Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
