when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
