I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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