OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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