There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
