So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
