We won't sleep together?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
