I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
