The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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