Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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