Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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